rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize