You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He had one of those small greek statue penises
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize