we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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