Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I lost the right to judge tonight
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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