is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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