Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
