We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
