i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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