We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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