they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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