You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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