Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
