Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
