if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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