um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
