She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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