I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
