He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
