I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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