guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
