we have officially lost it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
