We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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