if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
NoShamevember. You game?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
