Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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