when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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