In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
