I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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