Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize