worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
