you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
