So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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