The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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