FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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