I hate all girls vehemently.
I could make wine with my vomit
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
