I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
