im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize