go do what you do best...puke behind churches
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
