At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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