I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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