How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He kissed a someone with a penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
