so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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