I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Randomize
