i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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