She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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