i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
