On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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