Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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