I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What a dumb baby whore.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
