remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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