she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
