Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
