I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
