hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize