was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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