i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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