4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
