a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is it penis luge time yet?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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