Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We left the knife in your bed.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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