Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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