just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
