he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
