Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
