As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
