I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
