So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize