i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
