mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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