they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize