Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
