This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
