dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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