there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
