Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
