I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
