In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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