I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
