this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize